Lost Connections

There is an idea from Johann Hari's Lost Connections that has stayed with me. He suggests that we may be one of the first generations of humans trying to live without a tribe. For most of our history,people lived in close-knit communities. We shared meals, raised childrentogether, mourned losses together and leaned on one another through life'schallenges. Connection wasn't a luxury—it was how we survived.

When I think about modern life, it's hard not to wonder what we've lost. We are surrounded by technology that promises connection, yet many of us feel more isolated than ever. We can spend hours communicating withoutever feeling truly seen. We chase independence, productivity and achievement,often at the expense of the relationships that quietly sustain us.

Maybe loneliness isn't a sign that something is wrong with us. Maybe it's our mind and body reminding us that we were never designed to dolife alone.

This has made me reflect on what really helps people heal.As a therapist, I've seen that while insight and coping strategies matter,genuine healing so often happens in relationship. It happens when someone feels safe, understood and accepted. Perhaps our greatest challenge today isn't learning to be more self-sufficient, but having the courage to reconnect—with family, friends, neighbours and community. After all, we were never meant to carry life on our own.

Where do we begin?

The good news is that connection doesn't have to be grand or life-changing. In fact, it's often the smallest moments that remind us we belong.

We don't need to suddenly find a new tribe overnight. We simply need to begin moving towards people, one small step at a time.

That might look like sending a message to a friend you've been thinking about, inviting someone for a coffee, taking the dog for a walk and saying hello to a neighbour, joining a local sporting club or community group, volunteering for a cause that matters to you, or simply putting your phone away and being fully present with the people already in your life.

These actions may seem ordinary, but they are powerful. Every small act of connection sends a quiet message to our nervous system: I don't have to do life alone.

As a therapist, I've learned that meaningful change rarely comes from one dramatic moment. More often, it grows from small, consistent actions repeated over time. One conversation. One shared laugh. One invitation. One walk together.

Perhaps the question isn't, "How do I fix my loneliness?" but rather, "What's one small step I could take today to move a little closer to another person?"

Those small steps have a way of becoming something much bigger. They slowly rebuild trust, belonging and community—and they remind us of something deeply human: we were never meant to carry life on our own.,

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My Best to you,

Mark

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