We’re often told to just do your best—but what if your best looks completely different from one day to the next? Some days, “your best” might be tackling a to-do list, supporting others, and feeling productive and proud. Other days, it might mean getting out of bed, sending a single message, or just holding yourself together. And that’s OK.

We often set ambitious goals: “I’ll work out every day,” “I’ll stop overthinking,” or “I’ll finally get organised.” But most of us don’t fail because we lack willpower—we fail because we set the bar too high at the start.

Many people enter counselling unsure why their anxiety spikes in relationships or why trust feels so difficult. Increasingly, research shows that past trauma—especially in early attachment experiences—can profoundly influence our nervous system and relational patterns well into adulthood.