Switching the narrative: from “good/bad” to “helpful/unhelpful”
In our personal and professional lives we often evaluate problems, behaviours or even people with a “good vs bad” lens. But this binary framing can trigger shame and guilt, which are counter productive to meaningful behavioural change and getting started. Instead, it’s time to adopt a growth mindset, and shift our narrative to what’s helpful vs unhelpful.
When we label something “bad”, we unintentionally load it with moral judgment. That triggers resistance, defensiveness or avoidance—exactly what obstructs taking the first step toward change. It perpetuates unhealthy coping-cycles because the person thinks “if I’m bad, then I’m flawed” rather than “this is unhelpful and I can learn or adjust”. In contrast, seeing a pattern or challenge as unhelpful gives agency,invites emotional intelligence, and opens the door to resilience and optimisation of performance.
From a “narrative change” perspective, this subtle wording shift matters. Researchers at the Narrative Initiative highlight that moving from harmful to helpful narratives depends on framing that advances the future we want to create. narrativeinitiative.org When we frame problems as“unhelpful” we reduce the weight of identity (“I am bad”) and increase the focus on behaviour (“This behaviour is not helping”). That creates space for action, experimentation and improvement.
In practice:
• Use “unhelpful” instead of “bad” when describing a habit or outcome.
• Celebrate progress and iteration rather than punitive “good/bad” verdicts.
• Encourage dialogue about “what helps?” and “what doesn’t help?” rather than“what is right or wrong?”
By making this shift in your leadership, team culture, or personal development work you unlock a more constructive, high-performance mindset that fosters accountability without shame. Let’s move from judgement to insight, from moralising to empowering. The narrative we choose influences our capacity to start, sustain and scale positive change.
